Mixed feelings

Aloha!


I'm currently experiencing a ton (notice that I avoided saying "heaps") of different and weird emotions that seem to be having somewhat of a negative impact on my studies. For example, I feel:


Relieved after completing the paper for Hawaiian Studies that I had left until, quite literally, the last minute.

[A bit too] relaxed about the assignment for Filipino that I was supposed to submit yesterday, but didn't.

Stressed about the poster draft due tomorrow for Geology, which I haven't thought about.

Unenthused by the class in which I am currently sitting.

And those are just my feelings about classes at the moment.

I'm excited to visit the Big Island this weekend.

However I can't get someone off my mind right now.

I always wonder if I'm ever on his.

I feel a little exhausted from expending more energy and getting little in return.

On the other hand, there is someone I want to punch in the face whenever I have to deal with him.

I feel unprepared with regard to what I'll do when I get back to Australia.

I'm sad that I've passed the halfway point of my semester here in Hawai`i.

But I'm happy that I have a good life overall.

Right now I'm really hungry - all I had for breakfast was a bit of chicken salad at around 6.30am. And tired - I didn't sleep properly last night. I had to write my paper for Hawaiian Studies, so naturally I spent much of my night choreographing a mini-routine for a performance I'll be giving with my peers in Filipino early next month. After finishing that up I eventually got to write my paper, but I was so tired that I decided to close my eyes for a little bit while laying down on my bed.

Several hours later I woke up and finally forced myself to type, while occasionally yelling "FML" to no one in particular.

In the pre-departure workshop that I attended at my home university many months ago we were told about the kind of emotional rollercoaster we would be on during our time away. My first week was definitely full of new and exciting things - this is referred to as the "honeymoon period". Homesickness struck the day I moved to Waikiki, and reared its ugly head again several times since then. I think I have settled in really well, and I know I'm going to miss my life here when I go back home. The experience comes with highs and lows. I'm not depressed or anything, I've just got a lot on my mind right now. Unfortunately the negatives kind of outweigh the positives at the moment. Hopefully I'll figure things out soon.

In the meantime, I've got homework to do.

A hui hou!